


Midnight Foodfight

by IHeartSnuffles



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHeartSnuffles/pseuds/IHeartSnuffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gift for my friend on Tumblr: John wakes up to see Dave is not in bed. He floats downstairs and sees his boyfriend having a midnight snack. His Prankster's Gambit is just too much for him to ignore, and hillarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Foodfight

John blinked, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He looked over to see that Dave wasn't in bed next to him and frowned. Where did Dave go?  
"Daaaaave where are youuuuu, Rose is gonna be pissed if you decided to go do a midnight rap party... again." John complained, mostly to himself as he shrugged on his god tier pajama shirt. He didn't even remember how it came off in the first place, probably because the vents in his room were broken and made the whole room a close runner up to the hottest room in hell.  
He floated downstairs, adjusting his glasses to accommodate for the sudden light that was filtering past the kitchen bar. Blinking hard, John numbly took note of Dave half-stuck in the fridge. He grinned, feeling his Prankster's Gambit start to rise with the devilish idea that was hatching in his childish mind. When Dave set something down on the counter, John manipulated a small breeze to lift the food above Dave's head. And then let the breeze die. Oh even better, it was a cake.  
"AUGH. What the fu- .......Dammit Egbert, you little brat!" Dave held in a screech, his hair covered in an upended cake. John covered his mouth, holding in his giggles as he floated over the kitchen bar and landed beside Dave.  
"Nice hat you got there Strider, come here often?" John winked, taking a finger-full of frosting from Dave's messy hair and sticking it in his mouth. Dave clenched and unclenched his fists, then smiled and launched the jell-o he had been holding into John's face. It oozed down Egbert's face, plastering his bangs to his face with a bright green goo.  
"Daaaaave! Blegh, it's broccoli flavored!" John squeaked, frantically wiping his face off with his Heir pajama shirt. Dave laughed, and pulled out some crackers.  
"Ninja Dave is gonna wreck your shit in a second John, be ready for a full-on shitty foodstorm. This storm is coming your way!" Dave smirked, jumping back and chucking the crackers like ninja stars. John squealed, laughing and flew back. He levitated some apple juice out of Dave's cup and began to pelt Dave with an AJ rain. Eventually, the food fight got so bad that they both were sticky and covered in flour and remnants of leftovers from the last two days. Dave was lying on his back on the kitchen floor, John right beside him.  
"Gah, you smell of apple juice Dave. And... roast beef, judging by the leftovers I threw at you." John leaned over and sniffed Dave, giggling. Dave leaned over and gave John a peck on the lips before drawing back and laughing, "Geez Egderp, you taste like cake and cookies."  
"Oh gog please no. Please tell me that's not what you threw at me." John’s face seemed to drain of color at this statement, causing Dave to smirk.  
"Whoops, seems you're covered in a good mess of Betty Crocker madness. A protective layer of confectionary shit. A suit of..." Dave began to ramble, and John frowned, shooshing him.  
"Ok I get it. Now let's clean this kitchen up before Rose finds out! If she sees this, we're toast!"  
"Oh do not worry about me. It seems you already got to the toast, and the leftovers, and the juice, and the sweets, and everything else in the cabinets and fridge." Both boys jumped up to see Rose in her Seer of Light pajamas, her arms crossed and her eyes sparkling dangerously. Dave and John gulped nervously, standing up and looking at their feet.  
"Sorry Rose, the Prankster's Gambit was too much to fight..." John apologized. Dave shrugged, "John started it."  
"Daaaaave! That's not fair, you asshole!" John pelted his shoulder with fists of righteous fury, making Rose smile.  
"Both of you upstairs and back in bed. I'll call for a maid to come in the morning. No more of this, alright?" She sighed, pulling out her phone.  
"Yes ma'am." Dave saluted ironically, making John giggle. They tromped back upstairs as quietly as possible. "Hey Egbert, since we both stink and are covered in shitty food, let's..." Dave whispered in John's ear, causing his boyfriend to turn a brilliant scarlet red.  
"D-Dave!" John gasped, even the tips of his ears turning a light red. Dave laughed, sweeping up John in his arms and kissing him until the Heir of Breath was virtually breathless. He set a very flustered John down in the bathroom, swung around and slammed the bathroom door shut with a smug grin.

**Author's Note:**

> AND THEN THEY FRICKED /brick'd  
> No seriously, one of my watchers (i love them so much for this) reblogged this fic and in the tags wrote "and then they had sex in the shower?" BBY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.  
> But nah, I'm not that kind of person to write such provocative ideas~ *wiggly eyebrows*  
> Comment and kudos! It really helps!


End file.
